My plan is to retire with a full pension by 2027. Fun fact: that’s 70% of my salary, neverchanging, until ++(. I’ve been a teacher for 30 years and I hope that, when you’re ready to retire, you have $$ to live on and a world to live in.) This is about the confluence of both concerns.
And AI. I’ll talk about that too.
Back to my game plan. In order to retire happily, I need the world to not go to shit which, yeah… Let’s take a quick look at climate change.
Oil created massive wealth for a few. In order to keep that wealth, they hired the best and the brightest to, not be rich rich, but be ya know, rich. These wunderkind had the idea that a triangle with arrows printed on the bottom of every disposable product would create the illusion that there was nothing to worry about. “Throw it away, it’ll be ok!” That’s what I would have pitched. It’s not very good because I’m def not the best and brightest.
The press and educators were happy not to dig too deep because the whole system is rigged. Whaddayagonna do? They got paid. Hopefully retired with $, and moved on. Take a moment and listen to Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows”.
Here’s the situation, then the game plan. If we don’t right this sinking ship by Valentine’s day, 2025, we are truly fucked by Valentine’s day 2026. We have one year to tear down and rebuild this tear-down. Also, I’m not a writer so bear with me. Please.
The solution is a new global system of government that offers absolute responsibility, checks and balances directly from the people, and an immediate “self-cleaning” mechanism. And justice. That’s in there too.
This is how it will work: Every person on earth, from cradle to grave, will be able to vote either thumbs up or down. Let me be clear, there is no edge of the coin to land on. Every single person, you for example, will be a YES or NO at any moment. What are you voting on? Anything you want. Presumably how things are going for you. There is no specific question asked of your thumb because that, in itself, would be leading the witness. Altering your choice. So then. You go around thumbs up then down. Down then up, what have you. Vote by phone. Every phone will be made with a changeable green, up-thumb emoji, or red, down. Swipe left or right. Yes, simple. Yes, you can accidently swipe. Change it back. Do this all day if you like (boring game). To limit your ability to express a changed mind would be, opening the door to corruption. Corruption being the slippery slope; before long a judge says to Greenpeace, “circular arrows are kinda fun so, overruled.” The connection? Your vote is the foundation of law. Here’s what I know about law: rules are made by people that, well, make rules. If there is even a sliver of uncertainty in how these rules are made, corruption come on in! Pretty soon some lawyer, who paid to have his nephew sit on a bench, sees some questionable rulings, and thinks to herself… maybe capitalism and nepotism need SOME checks and balances. Nah, just kidding. The world is fine/ it’s all made up/ magic and tech will fix everything/ if not, we’ll go down with the ship. Glad to have a view from the top deck at least!
Checks and balances? Check! We all go about our business (in a hopefully more hopeful world) swiping as we see fit. When we see that 99% all of Gazans and Kievians are red screens, will you be surprised? I’m not getting into what to do with those gut-wrenchingly disastrous regions: up to a judge to decide- get it? Full circle.
Anywho. Not to keep secrets, anyone can see if your phone is green/red. This enables demographic analysis, open to all. “Look, the world’s most wealthy people are green while the poor, not so much.”
The division between the haves and have-nots is obvious but now there would be a record of people’s discontent and, finally, a way for the meekest to have their voice expressed. As easy as pie! No one needs to write a book describing how everyone should have access to free expression- one can simply swipe left or right.
If you don’t have a phone, you can use a laptop. Or call it in. Shouldn’t everyone have a phone in this day and age? Maybe a judge should decide. Ha, there it is again!
Let’s talk worst case scenario. Trump. If he becomes POTUS (yikes!) this time I’m moving to Canada! No, I’m not really. I don’t even know how I would go about that. Although with global warming…
Our current half-assed broken political system gave him the throne with, technically, less than 20% of American’s votes in 2016. Yes, I do include babies and felons. But still… I said throne. As in king. We elect a leader to kind of be our daddy. Do we have a complex? Oh, yes, many. But I digress.
We see POTUS as the top of a pyramid with the rich and well connected where the fruits and vegetables go and the rest of us with the breads and sweets. This seems to make sense but it’s completely upside down.
I see the masses of humanity on top, running around, doing our thing. Hopefully not going to jail because of the tone of our skin (politicians and judges, am I right?). Our fearless leader is more like the people’s butler. In my world, he/she/they run around like a neurotic servant asking “is everything green and OK? Great. I see your phone is red. What seems to be the problem?” Simply put, “what can I do to help?” I’m guessing Dalits will be pretty red. Although, who knows after generations of drinking the cool-aid. Maybe they will be green. Nah, they’ll be red.
So our BOTW (butler of the world) is concerned about the masses of phones turning red like a virus. He helps people (imagine that) to persuade green-ness. If he is a dick, or incompetent, his job is always in danger. The instant that we surpass 50% of red phones, he is instantly given direction to the nearest unemployment office. Uh, because he just got fired.
Again, he’s a Butler, not a king or dad of of us. We the people have great power to oust him immediately. Brace yourself for the hardest sell yet in my sea of hard sells… He picks his own replacement. His wife? Sure. Brother. Sure. Someone as shitty as him? Again, sure. Keep in mind people can change and no one wants to be fired. So that brother he thought was his intellectual twin, sees the red phones and simply gives the people what they need (magically he becomes an OK guy). If not, he picks his own successor. Can it be the original BOTW? Sure. Let him try again. You don’t have to teach for 30 years to know people can change. But it helps.
Before I go into more detail, let me get back to my game plan. Step 1 fix the world. Step 2 have a not-falling-apart world to live in for a couple/few decades before ++(. Step 3 is my afterlife. Since some share their fantasy of infinite cloud living, I’ll give my philosophy a go. After I die, my body will be as good as a log. Use it for science, burn it, bury it, stuff me and put me above the mantel: not gonna matter. My soul will lovingly creep into each and every person I’ve ever loved. Creepy. That’s a lot of people. In my world view, you never say goodbye to a loved one. He/she/they live on as part of you. Like a relay race where we all pass the baton forever.
I wrote this short story anonymously because I just want to quietly finish up teaching then retire, as I said. If you want to, you can reach me easily. Tell my publisher you want to talk. I like talking. If you’re a hater, no offense but, I don’t have the time. When Democracy is up and running, feel free to thumbs down. Maybe you’ll feel better. Post work, I’m thinking of plane spotting. Not crazy about golf and fishing so…
